Things Kyle Is. NOT.

Things Kyle Is NOT:

1. Trained in the ways of Jedi.
2. In good enough shape to run a marathon.
3. Motivated enough to do something productive.
4. Going to admit to any mistake, ever.
5. Patient enough to finish reading Moby Dick.
6. Strong enough to do more than 7-8 push ups at a time.
7. Strategic enough to win at Stratego.
8. Going to apologize for throwing your telephone out the window, when he specifically told you that if you didn't stop beating him at Baseball Stars, he was going to throw your telephone out the window.
9. Risky enough to win a game of Risk.
10. Agile enough to out maneuver a mountain lion.
11. Going to refrain from yelling at 11:30PM, even though the apartment complexes "quiet time" hours go into effect at precisely 10PM.
12. An apple, for instance.
13. Able to make out subtle differences between two seemingly very different colors.
14. Proud of it, but it needed to be done.
15. Lying about it and telling everyone that it was you.
16. Embarrassed, oh wait. Never mind.